Thursday, March 31, 2005

Girl getting kicked

So I'm sitting here at werk, minding my own business, reading a book (which is basically all I do on my nights other than menial chores (ie. sweeping the floor/Baking something for dessert/other) and typing in my blog) when one of the youth in my house (who will always remain nameless due to the sensitivity of my job) comes down the stairs to tell me that there is a girl getting beaten up in the alleyway. At first I can't hear YOUTH because the dishwasher and the dryer are both going. YOUTH says again that there is a girl outside in the alleyway getting beaten up.

I immediately feel the need to see this spectacle and confirm its truth for myself seeing as there are times when the youth at my house are less than truthful. I run (slowly walk) up the stairs and into YOUTH's room to check it out. Sure enough there's a girl on the ground pleading for mercy at the hands of what i can only assume is her boyfriend.

Not surprisingly, BOYFRIEND is dressed like a typical Regina Gang-Star with low-rise jeans, a hoodie and baseball cap turned partly to the side (I assume so people know he's "different" and "original" from all the other Regina Gang-Stars in town). I can't really tell what GIRLFRIEND is dressed like as she is lying on the ground with her feet towards BOYFRIEND in a feeble attempt to ward off his vicious kicks.

I'll take time now to admit to everyone reading this that I'm a huge pussy. Huge. Instead of running right outside to confront BOYFRIEND, I go directly to the phone and call the police. It's not the fact that I'm afraid of confrontation cause I'm not. What I am afraid of, though, is the percentage of chance that BOYFRIEND is "packing a nine" (approximately 1% chance). I talk to the police and I ask them if I should go out to confront BOYFRIEND. I am told that I shouldn't because I don't want to invite danger onto myself. I agreed that I didn't want a cap to be busted into me and left the issue at that.

I went back into YOUTH's room to time the cops to see how long they'd take. BOYFRIEND was still kicking GIRLFRIEND and swearing at her quietly so as not to be heard by neighbors. In about 2 minutes a police car came streaking down the alley after BOYFRIEND. Of course, in typical Regina Gang-Star fashion, BOYFRIEND ran away from the cops yelling expletives in his wake.

I don't imagine the cops found BOYFRIEND as they circled back to the alleyway within 5 minutes of searching, but at least GIRLFRIEND was safe. Just another night in the life of the Peoples Champ LBomb.

Blogs Suck

First of all, I would like to state that i do understand the irony of having a title that says "blogs suck" while using a blog. I have mostly always hated blogs. The only thing I like about blogs is when they're funny. No one wants to know all about your day. For example, if i started talking about how I woke up at 8:00pm (yes pm) and immediately went to the washroom then i went to The Last Straw, then I went to my girlfriends house, I would have to punch myself in the face, then probably commit S. Seriously NO ONE CARES THAT I TOOK A LEAK!!!

With that in mind, I have no idea how often I will be posting on this "blog" or "b-log" or "web log". I can only say that i will be posting stories or various other things that I think are funny. If you don't think they're funny, don't read my blog. Actually, read my blog anyways cause you likely have nothing better to do.

I also will try to use cool names for people who are spoken about in this blog. If you think that i'll likely be posting about you cause you're my friend/you're funny/you're lame/i'm lame, you can post a comment asking if you can have a certain name when i mention you. Likely I will take into consideration your wishes unless you're someone like Bippy (no offense Bippy) cause Bippy is way cooler than any other name anyone could think of.

Counters Rule