Saturday, January 20, 2007

Dancing movies blow.

I sucked it up when they tossed out "Save the Last Dance". I even managed to swallow my bile when they shattered my testicles with "Bring It On" and "Drumline". But this has got to stop. Now. People need to discontinue going to movies with people dancing in them. Don't get me wrong, a movie with a (1) dance here or there is swallowable, but when an ENTIRE MOVIE is devoted to dancing? Please.

The worst part about this is that they're ALL THE SAME and they're swarming theatres like flies. You want to know what happens in the next movie involving dancing?? Ok, but let me warn you; the following contains spoilers...

- Protagonist likes some form of dancing (usually, but not limited to, Hip-Hop).
- Protagonist is pretty good at dancing.
- Protagonist meets someone of the opposite sex in whom they are interested.
- Protagonist meets Antagonist who is better at dancing.
- Protagonist has "dance-off" with Antagonist and loses.
- Protagonist does something to make his/her friends/posse angry at him/her.
- Protagonist is "down in the dumps" until person of the opposite sex gives him/her a pep talk.
- Protagonist practises very hard at dancing.
- Protagonist has "dance-off" with Antagonist and wins.
- Protagonist kisses/bones person of the opposite sex and gets his/her friends/posse back.

You cannot point out any significant difference in any of the following movies: Save the Last Dance, Honey, You Got Served, Roll Bounce, Step Up, Take the Lead, Stomp the Yard. I am even going out on a limb because I have never seen Step Up or Stomp the Yard but I still guarantee there are no differences. And don't say idiotic things like:

"But Lbomb, Roll Bounce has roller skates, not dancers" or "Step up has a white guy instead of a black guy". If you do, you're a moron, so don't waste my time.

I've never resorted to this before, but the situation is so dire, I feel I have no choice...PLEASE STOP GOING TO MOVIES ABOUT DANCING. If you refuse to listen to me, people WILL continue making them. You've been fairly warned.

I hate these movies so much that I've been forced to beg.


At 7:55 PM, Anonymous bagodi said...

I'm soooo glad you're back to posting, I had resorted to watching dance movies in my spare time, lol! I couldn't agree more and along the same lines, people please quit watching dancing based reality shows. Katheter and I painfully sat through a half hour show tonight (it was like a car crash, we couldn't look away) by Jennifer Lopez called Dance Life,'ll never guess, people struggling to make it as dancers! The dude who works in the jean store, and the girl whose car keeps dying one her, fair enough they're struggling but the guy who drives a beemer or the girl who danced in the Prince (or whatever the hell his symbol is) video, I think they're doin okay! So you think you can Dance?, Dancing with the Stars, ummmmm not so much, STOP THE INSANITY. If you wanna see real dancers we know a little place in the industrial area, lmao, jk! Keep up the good work!

At 6:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Lbomb, are you single?

At 6:26 PM, Blogger Hendy said...

I hate to say it, but I was forced to watch Step up and it's exactly like the description you provided. Sadly I was on a date at the time, and throughout the course of the movie I couldn't help but point out exactly what was going to happen next just like anyone with half a brain could clearly see. Let's just say she stopped talking to me halfway through the movie, and her idiotic friends thought I was a jackass. I wouldn't have it any other way

At 7:37 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Do you seriously think someone of MY stature would be single? Come on.

At 12:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! ;)
heh... what demented newz!
what do you think about it?


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