Saturday, January 20, 2007

Dancing movies blow.

I sucked it up when they tossed out "Save the Last Dance". I even managed to swallow my bile when they shattered my testicles with "Bring It On" and "Drumline". But this has got to stop. Now. People need to discontinue going to movies with people dancing in them. Don't get me wrong, a movie with a (1) dance here or there is swallowable, but when an ENTIRE MOVIE is devoted to dancing? Please.

The worst part about this is that they're ALL THE SAME and they're swarming theatres like flies. You want to know what happens in the next movie involving dancing?? Ok, but let me warn you; the following contains spoilers...

- Protagonist likes some form of dancing (usually, but not limited to, Hip-Hop).
- Protagonist is pretty good at dancing.
- Protagonist meets someone of the opposite sex in whom they are interested.
- Protagonist meets Antagonist who is better at dancing.
- Protagonist has "dance-off" with Antagonist and loses.
- Protagonist does something to make his/her friends/posse angry at him/her.
- Protagonist is "down in the dumps" until person of the opposite sex gives him/her a pep talk.
- Protagonist practises very hard at dancing.
- Protagonist has "dance-off" with Antagonist and wins.
- Protagonist kisses/bones person of the opposite sex and gets his/her friends/posse back.

You cannot point out any significant difference in any of the following movies: Save the Last Dance, Honey, You Got Served, Roll Bounce, Step Up, Take the Lead, Stomp the Yard. I am even going out on a limb because I have never seen Step Up or Stomp the Yard but I still guarantee there are no differences. And don't say idiotic things like:

"But Lbomb, Roll Bounce has roller skates, not dancers" or "Step up has a white guy instead of a black guy". If you do, you're a moron, so don't waste my time.

I've never resorted to this before, but the situation is so dire, I feel I have no choice...PLEASE STOP GOING TO MOVIES ABOUT DANCING. If you refuse to listen to me, people WILL continue making them. You've been fairly warned.

I hate these movies so much that I've been forced to beg.

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