Thursday, December 07, 2006

Cassie Madden

Cassie Campbell is the John Madden of NHL broadcasting. Except, somehow, worse. For YEARS people have been making fun of the obvious color commentary that Madden provides. I think Brian Regan put it best when he said:

"Al Michaels - To the 20, to the 10, there's a flag on the play...

John Madden - Now if-a if-a if-a there's a flag on the play, there's gonna be a penalty. If a guy runs, he goes faster. If a guy eats alot, he takes a big dump later. Tough actin' Tanactin."

Ok, maybe you didn't get that. In fact, GUARANTEED you didn't get that if you aren't a sports fan. But all of this is irrelevant. As bad as John Madden is, Cassie Campbell (the captain of the Canadian Olympic Womens Hockey team) is far worse.

CBC tried it's luck with her right there in the broadcasting booth doing color commentary. The thing is, she's an idiot. Even if you have never watched hockey in your entire life, you could do a better commentary than she did. The type of garbage that came out of her mouth were things like this:

"Great pass through the neutral zone" or "The new NHL sure has alot of scoring" or "Phaneuf has a nice ass".

So CBC fired her. Or so I thought. I caught her on HNIC (Hockey Night In Canada) this last weekend when my beloved Canadiens beat the Prostitutes...I mean Leafs, in a shootout. She wasn't doing color commentary. She was, instead, doing rinkside commentary. Once again, she ceased to amaze me with her awful.

CBC, if Ron McLean sucked at his job or if Don Cherry didn't bring in the viewers every week, would you keep them on the payroll? No. So why do you continue to embarrass yourself with clips of Cassie Campbell stating the obvious? To gain female viewers? Guess what. Wrong demographic.

Cassie Campbell makes me almost as sick as Hayley Wickenheiser and her Hamburger Helper commercials.

This will be the last post I ever do about a woman sucking at a man's job. NOT.

7 Comments:

At 6:11 PM, Anonymous HappyHippie said...

Well for once I am going to completely agree with you. In fact I am going to come out and say that women should never broadcast sports. For some reason they always get the women to read off the sports news on the radio and needless to say it's guaranteed that they choke on their words and mispronounce names. Now I am not going to lie I do it all the time, but to my own embarrassment in the privacy of my home.

 
At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Phaneuf doesn't have a nice ass?

Women suck at mens jobs. When was the last time:

- A woman was the leader of a progressive country.

- A woman hit a clutch home run in the bottom of the 9th to win the world series.

- Scored in overtime to help her team win the stanley cup.

- Warded off pirates and saved the townspeople from pending looting and pillaging.

Never, nuff said.

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger b00erns said...

Anonymous, great response. Seriously, it was intelligent and humorous. Why the hell do you need to post under anonymous though?
Aside from that, I'm glad you posted about Cassie Campbell. My theory is that Cassie and Ron McLean had a Bill and Monica type incident, and Cassie is blackmailing Ron into getting her onto the show. It for sure is not because she is taltened, nor is it because women watch hockey. Some institutions in society (ie HNIC) should be left alone.

 
At 9:09 PM, Blogger Jenner said...

To be fair, I have warded off pirates and saved the townspeople from pending looting and pillaging.. several times actually. Plus I played some wicked first base all game and then made the game-ending/winning catch at the end to win the championship..Estevan and area ball championship. Still counts.

Long time no see

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Yeah. You won the game. In a WOMENS SLOW PITCH TOURNAMENT/BEER LEAGUE.

 
At 1:00 PM, Blogger Jenner said...

It wasn't slow pitch or beer league.

 
At 6:20 PM, Blogger Johnnie Mac said...

Hoping Haley chokes on a bite of hamburger helper. Perhaps under the thought of meeting her maker will she finally fess up about lying that the US not stomping on the Maple Leaf before the Olympics never occured.

I loved her bro as an STL Blue. I can't stand her.

 

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