Wednesday, December 07, 2005

No, you did NOT bring your 3 year old to the late show.

There needs to be a universal, federally enforced curfew for children under the age of 16. I am considering running for Prime Minister because I think this should be a serious political issue. Know what I hate? Driving past 7-11 at 2am and seeing a pack of 13 year old boys loitering outside the store. GO HOME. Don't you have Red Shoe Diaries to watch or something? Maybe Wild-On Camaroon? Maybe the Girls Gone Wild infomercials?

Anyways, back to the point of my story. I was in Edmonton a week ago and I decide to watch ~cough~ Harry Potter ~cough~. I get tickets for the late show, which starts at 9pm. I get into the theatre and sit down a few rows back from the front. Alot of the optimum seats were taken due to my having to watch the dragon blow some fire (which was awesome). So I'm sitting in my seat and in walks this family. And I mean the WHOLE family. The Grandma (age 29), the mom (age 18) and the kids (ages 6,5,4 and 3). I seriously give them the triple take. You know, the one you give your doctor when you find out what a catheter/pap smear is. I can't believe this. You just brought your 3 year old daughter to the LATE MOVIE. What kind of 3 year old isn't in bed before 7pm? I know for damn sure that if I was 3 and I wasn't in bed before 7pm, it was because I was sick and couldn't sleep because I had an anal thermometer stuck up my ass.

Worst thing about it is that this girl is awake the whole time and CAN'T KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT. Newsflash: As if your 3 year old daughter cares that Harry is a crappy magician. Again. Or that Ron is a huge pussy. Again. Or that Hermione is really hot. I mean smart. Again.

You just know that this kid is never supervised at home and doesn't go to bed until 1:30am. She likely already smokes dope, curses like a sailor and drinks like your dad.

Get some parenting skills.

35 Comments:

At 10:46 PM, Blogger Ash-Am said...

Hey for about an hour tonight me and two girls that live in my dorm sat and read out blog postings of yours. We laughed so hard we almost cried! I havn't talked to you in awhile and you are still making my day. Thanks for being so funny and just being you!

~Ashley

 
At 12:28 AM, Blogger LBomb said...

Mmmm...girls...reading...

 
At 1:15 AM, Anonymous bagodi said...

Hey now, settle the mettle!! One must keep in mind that if it wasn't for such pathetic and dangerous parenting skills we wouldn't have a job! I mean at least the parental unit was with the small children and didn't have the 6 year old at home babysitting/balancing the chequebook/doing an oil change....you get the idea! Although I am terribly jealous that you saw the new Harry Potter before me!

 
At 7:12 AM, Blogger Briananthony said...

she didn't have the six your old doing those things b/c the 7 year old was home doing them as punishment for wanting to have "milk" at supper instead of Jack Daniels.

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger michael lewis said...

The three year old can't possibly "drink like her dad", because he probably took off moments after the whore mother conceived.

She probably drinks like her mother.


And I'm not racist, I just recognise universal stereotypes as reality.

Was this ragamuffin family native? I'd be highly surprised if they weren't.

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger Hendy said...

Babysitters are expensive you know, and you can't collect money for the government for your children if they get taken away.....

 
At 5:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are by far the most fucking ignorant person I've ever come across in my life. I seriously hope you die alone Lbomb, you don't ever deserve to be happy

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger LBomb said...

Actually, you calling me ignorant is more so ignorant than I could ever be. You see, I am actually very aware of what happened in this story because I was there. So, in fact, I'm not ignorant at all. As you are claiming that I am ignorant, it would imply that you WERE there and in fact witnessed this entire story. So, either you are lying and weren't there, and henceforth are more ignorant than I and through your deductive reasoning would be "the most fucking ignorant person you've ever come across" OR you are the 18 year old mother of 4 who can't take care of her family. Either way, congratulations with your failure in life.

 
At 1:25 AM, Blogger Jenner said...

Ok kid, I posted again. And I have to say once again you continue to be the person who can make random people extremely angry more than anyone else I know. lol way to be.

 
At 8:32 AM, Anonymous crazybeautiful said...

I just want everyone to know that I am hopelessly and completely in love with Lbomb!

 
At 3:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How long did it take you to write that Lbomb? Maybe you should stop being such an asshole. Making fun of minority groups is not funny. Maybe that woman had to take her kid with her. Did you ever think that maybe she doesn't get a chance to go out at all? She's likely working three jobs to feed her children, so give her a fucking break.

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

I am completely dumbfounded. You must be unable to read/understand Engilsh. Or simply have an IQ below 40. No where, I repeat; NO WHERE in my blog do I once mention a "minority group" of any kind. At all. In fact, it would seem to me that since you were the one jumping to the conclusion that this family was a "minority group", YOU would be the racist. Not me. You are an idiot. Please refrain from insulting all humankind with another comment. And in case you're wondering, this comment took me a full 15 minutes to complete. 2 minutes of typing and 13 minutes trying to comprehend your stupidity.

 
At 11:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Racism doesn't have to be said in words. Everyone that is reading your blog can tell you're a dirty racist. Don't worry Lbomb, Jesus is watching....

 
At 12:03 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

I was wondering what would come next. Apparently the answer is "unfounded accusations". Well, I guess I might as well just come out and say it. Everyone who is reading your posts can tell you're a filthy whore. Promiscuity doesn't have to be said in words.

 
At 2:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eat shit and die

 
At 3:26 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Brilliant. Owned.

 
At 7:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I owned your mom last night bitch

 
At 8:58 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

Anonymous would only be considered hilarious if it turned out he/she was in fact Gadrup.

 
At 9:08 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

This is similar to my feeling about senior citizens. Well you know how certian stores have a "seniors day?" where seniors can benefit from misc. discounts and whatnot?

Well there should be an "Unsenoirs Day" where non seniors can benefit from being able to shop without seniors present. Seriously this alone would cut down my shopping time by at least half. You know because seniors always have the uncanny ability to:

- Stand in the middle of the isles, blocking the isle from all other traffic with their carts, staring idly into nothingness for virtual minutes on end.

- Count every last penny to make exact change a the till.

- Screw up counting change 3 or 4 times and having to recount.

- Complain about the price of things.

- When asked "If that is all?" actually make the cashier go and get something they forgot furhter longating your wait in line

- Write cheques.

- Talk about the weather.

- Hog all the spots closest to the doors.

- Ding your doors with their doors and/or carts.

- Almost run you over while backing out, claiming they have the right away and/or the didn't or couldn't see you because of their blindness.

- Walk down the middle of the driving lane instead of closer to the cars, not allowing you to pass.

Death to Seniors.

PS I need to be a guest poster.

 
At 12:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, fine. I got owned. I'm a bitch,prefer men and own all the s club 7 cd's. I cry myself to sleep after chatting to hotbabes (40yr old men) online all night.

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

At least you past the first step which was denial.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

You didn't "own" anybody's mom. Ever. You "owned" their half-retarded step-brother who lives in the basement talking to you on various chat forums every night between 7:00 and 8:00pm.

And yes, you do need to be a guest poster, 2fnlo.

 
At 9:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mother has been dead for 6 months. See Lbomb.... that is exactly the kind of heartless comment that I expect from an asshole like you. You should be ashamed of yourself.

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Hey, moron. Newsflash: YOU were the one who brought up moms. I can't believe you continue to embarrass yourself like this. And in order to save yourself the time and effort of your next post, I'll do it for you.

"Hey Lbomb, you are stupid/ugly. I hope you fall off a bridge. Etc, etc."

You are pathetic. I'm sure your mother is in a better place. Without you.

 
At 7:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck you

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Owned. Again.

 
At 9:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's really intelligent Lbomb. "Owned". Just because you say you're owning me doesn't mean you are... I can't be bought bitch

 
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At 8:20 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Awww, poor little anonymous feeling a little down? Keep sucking at comebacks? It's ok. Life gets better at 13. And so does lovemaking with your moms vibrator.

 
At 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 24 asshole. Maybe once you hit the age of consent you'll have an opinion that someone besides your mother would be interested in hearing

 
At 6:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey "anonymous #1", at least his mother isn't dead.

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

See Lbomb? These are the kind of people that would stand in your corner as opposed to mine. The kind of people that take shots at someone's deceased mother. I hope you feel ashamed

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

You have no corner. No one even knows who you are. Or CARES who you are for that matter. If you don't like people making fun of your dead mom, don't bring up my mom. The only thing I'm ashamed about is your lack of intellect and the fact that everyone who loves this blog has to (gets to) read your comments.

 

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