Friday, September 30, 2005

Keith Richards is so old.

It just kind of occurred to me today how old Keith Richards really is. If you don't know Keith Richards, he is the lead guitarist for the Rolling Stones. I mean, I guess the guy isn't really THAT old. He's 61. But just look at him. This guy is as dead as you can get without actually being dead. I've never seen a person who looks so much like a skeleton. The guy doesn't dress up for haloween, he just takes his clothes off, and when he walks in the door everyone says "Holy Crap! Damned if that isn't the best skeleton costume I've ever seen!" Then they pat Keith on the back and his arm falls off.

It's not like Keith really looks after himself either. Dude smokes like Chicago in 1871 (please tell me you guys get this joke). I actually heard (am making up) a rumor that Keith has smoked so many cigarettes that he doesn't have to inhale the smoke anymore. It just seeps into his bloodsteam through his pores. He's been a "rock-and-roller" since conception and has likely contracted every V.D. known to mankind. And probably 3 or 4 that his own body invented. Not that the guy doesn't have enough cash to single-handedly pay scientists to find a cure for Hepatitus A, B, C, D, E & L.

Maybe I shouldn't be writing this. There is a decent chance (Stats Canada reports 77.84%) that I'll one day hook up with one of Keiths illegitimate daughters and be able to claim his immense fortune for myself. And sell all the rights to the Rolling Stones songs back to the Beatles. I mean Paul McCartney. I mean Michael Jackson.

7 Comments:

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At 9:41 PM, Blogger Hendy said...

I'm certain that between the two of us we could find one of his illegitimate daughter if we starting hunting now. The only problem is they might all be cougars by now. The hunt starts now!

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger michael lewis said...

Matthew, Mark, @#$%, and John...

Have you ever thought about smoking pot, or promiscuous sex?

Seriously, you've got unrelieved stress or tension in your life, and you need something to calm you down.

But whatever, you're still funny.

 
At 8:36 PM, Blogger Hendy said...

Looking at my previous post, I'm realizing that I shouldn't try to communicate with people when I'm tired... I appoligize for my ridiculous lack of typing/english skills

 
At 8:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keith Richards is the rhythm guitarist in the Stones. The lead guitarist has varied over time.

 

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