Friday, February 10, 2006

Olympic Gold

The Olympics is the wonderous time every 2 years in which countries forget their hatred for each other; the mass murdering, the incessant bombings and the terrorist attacks, for one common goal: Beating the crap out of the communist countries. And the Asians.

Please don't misunderstand me when I talk about Canada winning a gold medal in the Olympics. I mean, if we won the medal race, that would be great. That won't happen, though. We've never won a medal race in the history of our country. There is only one medal which is hinged to the pride of our fine country. The gold medal for Ice Hockey.

I was discussing with some friends (Xris and Burnsy), the different kinds of sports that were involved in the winter Olympics; Skiing, The Luge, Bobsledding. All of these came to mind. A few sports, obviously didn't:

LBomb - Hey, is gymnastics part of the Winter or Summer Olympics?
Xris - I don't know...
Burnsy - I think it's Summer.
LBomb - Yeah, it's Summer. (Short pause) What about that sport where they ride bikes around a track? That's winter, right?
Burnsy -, that's summer too, I think.
LBomb - Yeah. Probably. Hey, what's the most obscure Winter Olympics sport you can think of?
Xris - ...
Burnsy - ...
LBomb - What about where they ski and shoot things?

Anyways, I say all of this to prove a point. WHO CARES? The only sport I want a medal in is Hockey. People in this country went ballistic when Canada won the gold in 2002. This year will be no different. In the interest of pursuing Olympic Gold in Hockey, I've compiled a list of things I wouldn't hesitate to do in order for Canada to win Gold.

- Tell the French they suck. To their face.
- Watch The Notebook or 8 Mile.
- Get a backstage pass to Pee-Wee's Playhouse.
- Buy a Pussycat Dolls CD
- Bomb Hiroshima. Again.
- Loudly state, in the middle of Regina's biggest intersection, that the Riders don't need a new Quarterback.
- Walk around Oakland wearing colors other than black and silver.
- Face Roger Federer in a tennis match. The loser has to kiss Steffi Graf.
- Eat olives.
- Voluntarily get a catheter.
- Play Dungeons & Dragons.
- Watch a Keith Urban concert.
- Contract AIDS.
- Discard my extensive collection of anime...I mean compile an extensive collection of anime.

Canada better win.


At 9:23 AM, Blogger michael lewis said...

Perhaps there is an anime version of The Notebook?

At 10:14 AM, Blogger Hendy said...

Dude... I want olympic gold too... but Nealon Greene? I don't know... tough call on that one

At 11:01 PM, Anonymous bagodi said...

Anime??? I could've sworn you were working on robbing a bank to pay for buying, gluing, building, cloning, gravelling, painting, training to roll 375 sided dice, researching, stem celling, for your extensive Warhammer collection. Not to mention finding like minded friends who work the same shift as you, are as rich as you, and have days to commit to a potentially unending strategic whirlwind of excitement?? Anime??

At 12:17 AM, Blogger LBomb said...

Inside joke. Very funny. Really.

At 9:00 AM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

Dude I met Keith Ktachuck.

At 2:28 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Yeah. You called and told me about it. At 4:30am. Drunk.

At 6:03 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

Did I mention I bought Chris Simon a shot?

Yup I rule.

The phone call was Gadrup's idea.....drunk.


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