Sunday, June 05, 2005

Shack

I want hate mail. So, I have realized the best way to do this is make fun of the worst basketball player in the history of the universe. Shazzam. For those of you who STILL don't know who I'm talking about, I mean Shakeel O-Kneel. It doesn't matter if I spelled his name right because no one really cares anyways.

Shazzam can't hit free throws. He just can't. If people are getting paid millions of dollars to NOT hit free throws, what am I doing in my line of work? I can NOT hit free throws all day if I'm getting paid to NOT do it. I am also much better than Shazzam at NOT shooting 3-pointers. Oh yeah, and I can foul really well, too. The only thing I don't have is Shazzams size. Dude is big. And apparently has magical powers. Which I also don't have, but I bet I could STILL suck as much as him. Even without magical powers.

Oh yeah, and there's one more thing about Shazzam. He's a sellout. Who licenses their name to a terrible Sega game called Shaq-Fu? Wow. People who like Shazzam must be mentally retarded.

37 Comments:

At 10:40 PM, Blogger Briananthony said...

"here i am again, you better call the cops,pump up your reboks and just don't stop" -=----ill lyrics by dj shaqizzle o'nizzle .......

and by ill i mean i just vomited all over them

 
At 12:15 AM, Blogger Jenner said...

Hey stinkbomb, I linked you, so you better re-link me, or it's on.

ps. For those of you who want to defend Shaq.. come on... this was a long time coming.

 
At 1:26 AM, Blogger Coral said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:28 AM, Blogger Coral said...

This hate mail has jack all to do with shaq, snack or crack. I could care less who the crap plays what sport. I DO however care who 1.links me and 2. posts on my blog both of which you SUCK at apparently lol....so ps. this is hate mail just because you deserve it in your own right. Un-Blessings
...now link me damnit

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

Want hate mail? Make fun of how women are bad drivers.

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger Briananthony said...

terrible drivers

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Hendy said...

Women are bad drivers.

Anyways, I feel like someone has to defend Shaq a little bit here, even though I generally like to agree with your posts. Shaq is one of the most dominant centers to ever play the game, and probably the most coveted player in the NBA right now. Yes he is a terrible shooter, but when you're F'n 7 feet tall and 320 lbs, you can afford to suck at shooting. All the guy really needs to do is stand under the basket and call for the ball and he'll dominate. The problem is Miami and any other team he's ever played for is too stupid to just give him the ball every single time down the floor. I can't argue though, he is a terrible shooter, I'm sure my grandmother had a better Free throw percentage in high school.

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

You have to be kidding Coral. I NEVER link first. EVER. You show me your loyalty to me, and then you get a link. I can boldly say "I will DOUBLE you traffic".

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger Coral said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger Coral said...

I dont want your dirty traffic you hoebag! Loyalty..who are YOU to talk about loyalty....lol (thats another post in and of itself.) oh and ps. I drive a truck, i drive well you can all effin go to ...haha...nah i dont want you to crowd my space jk...but i will say its YOU missing out on the lack of linkage.

 
At 10:07 PM, Blogger Briananthony said...

C'mon hendy isn't "most coveted" a bit strong, i mean their were not a lot teams interested in shaq as a matter of fact i would suggest if there were a fantasy draft right now, shaq would not go top five and maybe, not even top ten. He only dominates because of his size. Feed shaq the ball? two words why not...Duane Wade. Duane the Franchise Wade. This is Wade's team, not shaqs. The team hinges on Wades play, not shaqs. The record speaks for itself. Wade hurt the heat get ousted. Shaq hurt there are a few more dozen doughnuts to go around the locker room..........

 
At 10:08 PM, Blogger Briananthony said...

and for someone defending shaq Hendy you should check out on my site to see where all this started.....

 
At 11:53 PM, Blogger Jenner said...

Hey way to be punctual with the linking me. Now make a new and more interesting post for me to read.

 
At 6:13 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Please Coral. Put a counter on your page so we can see who gets more traffic. The funny guy with good posts or the boring chick with irregular, poorly named posts.

 
At 6:23 PM, Blogger Coral said...

Youre right kid, brian probably DOES get more traffic than i haha....

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Coral, we weren't talking about the kind of traffic that comes to your bordello...I mean bedroom. We're talking INTERNET traffic.

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger Coral said...

well ever since your mom moved in, the traffic in the brothel has gone down hill....so youre right on both counts

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Gotta go to the "your momma" jokes cause you can't keep up? That's ok. Just take a few minutes to think up a good one and get back to me.

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger Coral said...

Well techincally its not a 'your momma' joke, because she used to be your dad....

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Awful. Stop commenting until you can stop embarrassing yourself.

 
At 7:59 PM, Blogger Coral said...

huh?

 
At 1:26 AM, Blogger LBomb said...

Owned.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Percy said...

Everybody chill out. Let's all put on some Oasis, roll out the yoga matts and let's just find our centres. Like, okay???

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

Oasis is good!!

FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

And F for someone stealing my F.

 
At 10:34 AM, Blogger Hendy said...

If you are going to try to claim "F" as an original thought, you are sadly mistaken my friend

 
At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I want hate mail just like Maddox"

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Maddox has hate mail? Really? Just like MILLIONS of other people/websites in the world? I didn't know Maddox had a monopoly on hate mail. If you're going to be ignorant and say I copied Maddox because I want hate mail, you might as well say I copied the English for using their language. Or Bill Gates for using a computer. People shouldn't post comments if they're mentally retarded.

 
At 6:00 PM, Anonymous NonanonBrian said...

posting under anon. is gutsy......oh wait. no, it's terrible.

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

Hendy I was saying F before you were even a twinkle in your daddys eye.

 
At 11:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmmm. what would maddox say?

 
At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Brian243 said...

I bet that what went through Bill Gates head as he finished making Windows, 'oh boy here comes the hate mail. Then I can reply in a cynical funny way', oh a being anom, what am I going to do give you my name so you can...refer to me personally...whooo..here you go

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger LBomb said...

What are you talking about? Your argument makes no sense. Bill Gates getting hate mail? Where did you get that from? I don't care if you remain anonymous because I don't care about you. It's just that when you post comments on my blog, you lower the bar so that other 12 year olds with Down's Syndrome think it's ok to post their irrational thoughts/arguments.

 
At 1:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

just accept the fact that you sound.. sound, you didn't copy any of his writings, I know. And your first few blogs were fricken hilarious, but you sound like maddox. And maybe get that Downs Syndrome checked out.

 
At 9:10 PM, Blogger Hendy said...

Who is this guy? Seriously anonymous, you don't even have to be quick and witty to post on a blog, hell you could plan out your response for days if it takes that long to think of something snappy to say. You are probably the saddest excuse I've ever seen. Make sure you're off the computer by 10, I know that's what time my mom tucked my in when I was 12.

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Accept the fact that I "sound.. sound"? What? Did you ever consider that maybe Maddox and I have similar personalities? You change your accusation of "copying" Maddox to the reparation of "sounding" like Maddox. This proves me right and you wrong. I don't care if I SOUND like Maddox because he's hilarious. I didn't COPY Maddox, which is originally what you tried to claim.

Oh, and by the way, nice job using my comeback against me. Extremely witty.

 
At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You win.

 

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