Saturday, May 07, 2005

Queen Latifah is awful

I hate Queen Latifah. She is stupid and ugly. I was forced to watch Barbershop 2 at werk tonight and the film starts out with a trailer for "Beauty Shop". It starts out with a closeup of a black woman's skin and some black woman saying something like "Do you like your hair (closeup of hair)? Do you like your skin (closeup of skin)? Or do you like (pan out to show that you were just ogling Queen Latifah) sass?" I then threw up.

For the record, I do like hair. I also like skin. I don't even mind a little bit of sass (as long as the girl knows her role). But Queen Latifah almost ruined heterosexuality for me that night.

Here is my synopsis of her last 8 movies followed by a general rating scale.

The Muppet's Wizard of Oz - In this movie, some muppets (I assume Kermit and Miss Piggy along with their goofily hilarious friend the bear guy) go to Oz. Queen Latifah likely plays an annoying black lady.
Overall rating - F

Beauty Shop - Just like barbershop but with girls. And more Queen Latifah.
Overall rating - F

Taxi - Jimmy Fallon plays a witless cop who needs the help of a street-smart black taxi driver. Jimmy Fallon is hilarious. Queen Latifah makes Missy Elliot look beautiful.
Overall rating - F

The Cookout - Some black people go to a cookout. Queen Latifah makes John Leguizamo look funny.
Overall rating - F

Barbershop 2: Back in Business - Some black people own a Barber Shop and you can't understand a work they say without subtitles. Queen Latifah is sassy.
Overall rating - F

Scary Movie 3 - Some people think Queen Latifah is funny and decide to put her in a movie which spoofs other movies. People from the ages of 12-15 think this movie is outrageously hilarious.
Overall rating - F

Bringing Down the House - Steve Martin makes an awful comeback to stardom. Queen Latifah plays a hardnosed con. She sucks at it.
Overall rating - F

Kung Faux - No idea.
Overall rating - F

I hope Queen Latifah commits S.

47 Comments:

At 8:55 AM, Blogger Hendy said...

Gotta say, I friggin hate Queen Latifah too. That also gave me a good idea for my next post. I enjoyed that one as always, haha.

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger Ash-Am said...

Wow. Perhaps a bit extreme?? Lol...

Ash

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

No. Not extreme at all. She sucks.

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

If anything too leaniant.

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At 12:58 PM, Blogger Percy said...

What exactly is she the "Queen" of? How did she aquire the title "Queen". What possible, rational explaination for this can there be? LBomb, your thoughts, please.

 
At 5:26 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

I was actually going to comment on that, Percy. I did some research and found out that Queen Latifah isn't actually a queen. She isn't even a Princess. However, I DID find out that she is slutty (from ugly friends who would know). So I guess she could be known as Queen "of Sluts" Latifah.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Briananthony said...

Agreed Queen Latifah is an ugly ugly ........individual the only thing worse then her acting career is her rapping career...nuf said

 
At 10:22 PM, Blogger Jenner said...

I'm sure Luke will drive to Estevan and own me (or try to.. pff..) for saying this, but gotta be truthful.. I like Queen Latifah. Yup, sure do. I think she's cool. that's all. ;)

 
At 12:31 AM, Blogger LBomb said...

Jenner: I don't need to drive anywhere to own you. I just do. I own you. You are wrong. Queen Latifah is horrible.

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger Hendy said...

How could you Jenner? Here I thought you had a decent taste in comedy and then you come flat out and say you like actually like Queen Latifah.... for shame...

 
At 8:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All yawl need 2 stop talkin shit about her

 
At 6:16 PM, Blogger Martin said...

She is more annoying than Celine Dion...only with a few hundred pounds more annoyance!

Seriously who the fuck made her a model?

Every time I see her I want someone to shoot her so that I can later poke her in the eye with a dull dear antler

Only a few people invoke that kind of a sentiment from me and you already know of two of them....the third in case you were wondering is Meria Carrey!

 
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At 8:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are some who keep showing up over and over again in films and in one way, I am grateful for her presence.

It saves me about $8.50 for every movie she's in because I know beforehand it's going to suck hard.

I'm sorry, but what is her appeal? She's large, plays the same finger-wagging "strong black woman" character in every movie, and just because you call yourself a queen doesn't make you one.

 
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At 12:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Totally agree with you. I first saw Queen latifah in Taxi and the opening scene made me instantly hate here. A midle aged 50 pound overweight bicyclist performing ridiculous stunts...told me exactly what the movie was going to be about. A nasty, overweight, middle class black girl who was going to go through the movie being too bad ass to be touched.

Shes like a black female steven segal. She can't act and every movie in the character shes plays is overly competent. Shes too skilled, too smart, too funny, and too sexy *shudders in disgust* Or at the very least thats the way the character she plays is SUPPOSE to come off as.

I just tried to watch The Dilema with Vince Vaughn and Keven James and I had to stop watching as soon as I saw her face. Just made me instantly hate the movie.

 
At 7:25 PM, Blogger faaaackoff said...

I just saw a commercial with her in it and it made me look for a website to bitch about her immediately.
She is the most annoying actress i have ever encountered. She plays the same stupid character in every movie. Ohh i'm sassy and black and fat but sexy some how . I wish i could organize a group of 435 homeless people to eat microwaved burritos shit on her head from an inclined position everywhere she went so that she could smell her own talent on her everywhere she goes.
Queen Latifah ......go walk into traffic

 
At 11:06 AM, Blogger Bloibble said...

Seriously, what is Queen Latifahs greatest accomplishment. And if you say she was a greater rapper "U-N-I-T-Y", then that just proves my point. That was a hundred years ago and there has been a million one hit wonders since her, so the real answer is nothing. In my opinion she has done nothing extraordinary in her career, yet somehow, she manages to stick around like she IS some sort of Queen. She is a mediocre everything and yet I cant help to notice, that she maybe be walking around thinking she IS something special in that big black head of hers.

 
At 10:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ugh i will never finish a movie with her in it.. i look forward to the day she dies... is this realy what we want young women using for a role modle very loud and stupid and eating disorders..

 
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