Phalanges are overrated

Ya. I know what you're all thinking: "but, Lbomb, fingers help u type, LOL :)". "If u didn't have ne fingers, how could u make ichiban??? LOL???". So before you post any comments, let me present my case.

First, fingers get hurt too easily. Who hasn't broken a finger? Who hasn't cut most of their thumb off with a router (that's for you, werk friends)? The worst part about it is that you can't even function without ALL of your fingers werking properly. If 1 finger is out of commission, you can't do anything. Try writing with your index finger broken. Impossible.

Secondly, you can't even move your ring finger independantly from your pinkie finger. That is so worthless. The ring finger is the bitch sister of the hand. It can't do anything on it's own and just tries to mimick the "cooler" fingers.

If you think fingers are cool, you are incorrect. They are not cool and they are not OK. If I wasn't a huge sissy I would just cut all mine off and use my teeth for everything. Like scratching my back.

Don't even get me started on toes. They're worse than fingers only with less mobility and expectations. No one needs you to pop the top of a bottle with your toes.