Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Michael Moore Interview

Michael Moore is an American icon...for retards. I met up with him recently at a Drag Queen beauty contest where his "wife" was a judge. I asked him (told him) if I could conduct an interview with him. He agreed because he figured hanging out with me would make him look cooler...which it did. The interview went like this:

LBomb - How much do you weigh?
Michael Moore - 578 lbs.
lb - You're a fat loser.
mm - (laughs) Yes.
lb - Why are you laughing? I'm serious. (long awkward silence) So who are your political influences?
mm - Well, let me see (pauses). I would have to say Madonna, Moby, The Dixie Chicks and maybe Miss Piggy.
lb - ...like the muppet?
mm - yes.
lb - That's appalling.
mm - What does appalling mean?
lb - Nevermind. So, are you the guy that did that documentary about McDonalds? Cause that wasn't a bad show.
mm - No.
lb - ...Well, what documentaries did you do then?
mm - Bowling for Columbine, Farenheit 9/11...
lb - (cuts him off) Did you do any that weren't biased liberal propaganda?
mm - ...No...
lb - (throws up out of revulsion) Sorry. I accidentally looked at your face.
mm - (laughs) That's ok. It happens all the time.
lb - So, Benedict, I can call you Benedict can't I? (doesn't wait for answer) When are you going to realize that no one really cares what you think?
mm - (thinks) Umm...probably never.
lb - It's people like you that make me wish they would abolish the 1st amendment. Do you find it at all ironic that while trying to "unveil the truth" you leave out ENOURMOUS parts of a story in order to fashion an argument that fits your bias? Do you understand that this makes you a hypocrite?
mm - Yes.
lb - Wouldn't it be funny if some terrorists took your family hostage and the only way to ensure their safety was to rely on the superior firepower of American soldiers?
mm - Well...I don't really think it would be funny...
lb - I do. Especially if, because of idiots like you, American soldiers were no longer allowed to use firearms and instead had to use their suave negotiating skills. Then, because the terrorists were insane, instead of listening to the americans smooth dialogue and logical arguments, they shot your family and stole your 7 Porches which you bought from being a "classic, blue-collar working man".
mm - (crying softly)
lb - This interview is done. (slaps Benedict Arnold, I mean Michael Moore, in the face with his notepad and spits in his greasy hair)

Michael Moore got owned. And then i think he commited S.

9 Comments:

At 2:45 PM, Blogger Briananthony said...

moore is a huuuuge loser.

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Jenner said...

I tried not to laugh when I read this cuz come on it was mean. But I can't argue with you... so instead I guess I will laugh after all. ha ha...ha.

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger Jenner said...

ps. I'm aspiring to follow East coast brian's habit of commenting on every post. ;)
so far so good

 
At 8:17 AM, Blogger 2 FN LO said...

Hugely Accurate I read this Blog instead of CNN.

 
At 4:30 PM, Blogger Hendy said...

The anger in that post was really evident. I must say, I have never seen anything by Michael Moore, nor had I planned to, but now I think I might, if for no other reason then to fully understand your hatred.

 
At 5:35 PM, Blogger Mayhem said...

Maybe we need to beat the fat out of Michael Moore?

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Mayhem said...

Wow, I just realized that my blog ALMOST has the same name as this blog.

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger Briananthony said...

I comment because i care :P

 
At 11:11 PM, Anonymous Sassy Jo said...

i feel exactly the same way....

 

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